Xylus Themes

Flight 370: Storm of emotions over lives ‘lost’ as storm at sea delays search

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:48:54 +0000

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Michael! Marry me. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Afternoon delight

Steve Holt! Across from where? Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. I’m a monster. That’s why you always leave a note!

That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’
I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Marry me. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Pier Pressure

I’ve opened a door here that I regret. We just call it a sausage. I care deeply for nature. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Marry me.
Really? Did nothing cancel?
Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.
Across from where?
We just call it a sausage.

Pier Pressure

Whoa, this guy’s straight? There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

Good Grief!

Guy’s a pro. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

Copenhagen Zoo kills 4 lions, weeks after shooting giraffe

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:47:09 +0000

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

Vincent and the Doctor

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

You’ve swallowed a planet!
The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Army of Ghosts

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better?

Planet of the Dead

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. You’ve swallowed a planet! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

You’ve swallowed a planet!
No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.
It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

The Long Game

No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! You’ve swallowed a planet! You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

Midnight

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

You can see how I lived before I met you.

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:45:29 +0000

Vincent and the Doctor

You’ve swallowed a planet!
The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Army of Ghosts

Planet of the Dead

You’ve swallowed a planet!
No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.
It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

The Long Game

Midnight

Scarlett Johansson Opens Up About Her First Fully Nude Role In ‘Under The Skin’

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:44:08 +0000

Keep your mind limber. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. This man is a knight in shining armor. Keep your mind limber. You all right, Dexter?

Born Free

Watching ice melt. This is fun. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. He taught me a code. To survive.

I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me.
Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized.

Take It!

I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. Like a sloth. I can do that. Cops, another community I’m not part of. I’m really more an apartment person.

Father Knows Best

You all right, Dexter? You all right, Dexter? He taught me a code. To survive. I’m really more an apartment person.

Cops, another community I’m not part of.
I’m doing mental jumping jacks.
I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex!
I’m really more an apartment person.

Popping Cherry

I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! Cops, another community I’m not part of. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. He taught me a code. To survive. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! Watching ice melt. This is fun.

An Inconvenient Lie

I’m generally confused most of the time. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. I’m really more an apartment person. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter.

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:42:08 +0000

Born Free

I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me.
Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized.

Take It!

Father Knows Best

You all right, Dexter? You all right, Dexter? He taught me a code. To survive. I’m really more an apartment person.

Cops, another community I’m not part of.
I’m doing mental jumping jacks.
I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex!
I’m really more an apartment person.

Popping Cherry

An Inconvenient Lie

Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:40:08 +0000

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Tell them I hate them. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock.

The Honking

Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. Actually, that’s still true. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Meh. Yeah, lots of people did.

Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

A Big Piece of Garbage

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

The Why of Fry

I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want!

THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
I can explain. It’s very valuable.
Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”!
Oh God, what have I done?

Parasites Lost

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

Anthology of Interest II

With gusto. Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.

You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:39:09 +0000

The Honking

Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

A Big Piece of Garbage

The Why of Fry

THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
I can explain. It’s very valuable.
Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”!
Oh God, what have I done?

Parasites Lost

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

Anthology of Interest II

This is Example of Post without Sidebar

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:37:03 +0000

It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Look, my liege! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn’t vote for you. It’s only a model. I have to push the pram a lot.

Blue. No, yel…

Where’d you get the coconuts? And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. What a strange person. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. You don’t vote for kings.

Who’s that then?
And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
Be quiet!
We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Well, I didn’t vote for you. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Who’s that then? I’m not a witch. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:35:28 +0000

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Blue. No, yel…

Who’s that then?
And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
Be quiet!
We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

xylus — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 12:34:07 +0000

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

D’oh. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

Natural Born Kissers

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Save me, Jeebus. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

The Last Temptation of Homer

I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
I was saying “Boo-urns.”
I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Marge vs. Monorail

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Human contact: the final frontier. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

Homer the Great

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Homer no function beer well without. Me fail English? That’s unpossible.